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How to mend a broken heart

Required:

1 silicone cone along with 1 silicone gun, 1 pair of forceps, 1 blow dryer, a sunny place, 1 brush, 1 Babyface CD, 1 CD player, 1 booking at a nice restaurant, 1 bottle of Pinot Noir (decently aged), 1 flower bouquet, 1 tissue paper, 1 pair of wine glasses, 1 roll of time sufficient for 21 to 30 days

Method:

1. Use the forceps to pick up all the pieces of the broken heart, gently place them on the tissue paper, arrange to recreate the old heart shape
2. Insert the silicone cone into the silicone gun, and apply silicone to sides of the cracked pieces
3. Use the forceps to put the pieces together
4. Wrap the tissue around the heart to hold it in place, use blow dryer to help solidify for around 30 minutes or as needed
5. Play the Babyface CD in the mean time
6. Open the bottle of pinot noir and pour into a glass – WARNING no Chardonnay or Champagne, users do it at the risk of losing the heart forever
7. Serve the glass to the owner of the heart
8. Wrap the time roll around the heart, in some cases even less than 21 days would suffice, however depending on the shock apply as needed
9. Place the heart back in the body cavity
10. Handover the bouquet
11. A little make out session is good at this time for optimum results, use breath freshener and ensure no body odor – WARNING experience tells that make out sessions yield into much more intense sessions, carrying a condom during the exercise is highly recommended – should you want this to happen, double the dose of pinot noir, or alternatively for sure shot results, keep some vodka to follow once the pinot is gone!

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3 thoughts on “How to mend a broken heart

  1. does it matter that i used the word suffice; i know there was this instance of me saying to you, who says suffice in a sentence?

  2. I like the word suffice, however, when I have been broken hearted in the past your recipe would not have sufficed for me…my recipe called for double the liquor because it’s quicker and a definate rebound..

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