Ive met a lot of interesting people in my time, few have been as interesting as Kattie, and for this purpose, I will call this post, Kattie.
The Bull and the Hound is located on the Westheimer just off Kirkwood, there is a Specs nearby, she gave me directions to the meet up spot. Got it, I said, at six right, yes, she said. It was a rather chilly evening, and I parked just opposite the Specs, only to realize that it was a long walk to the Bull. The place looked rather decent, they had a really nice patio which was full of people, the exterior was out of a western movie, this was not supposed to a English pub rip off as they so like to make them in the states. As I opened the door and stepped in, I realized this was a rather packed up place. There were people everywhere, I looked straight, and there she was, sitting on the bar. Her blonde hair flowing, wearing a nice black dress, having a martini, she waved at me, I waved back, only thing was, I knew I had met her before, I just couldn’t remember where.
So I walk over, the wrinkles on her face tell me at least 50, don’t bother; hello, I said, hey sweetie, you alone she said, well the others should be here if they are not already, so pull up a chair she said. Is this seat taken, I asked the man sitting next to the vacant chair, not that I know of, spoken like a true Texan. So how have you been, very good, I like this town, how long have you lived here for, oh all my life, she said. I could do with small talk, but just then Lillian and Amanda walk in through the other door, saving me the agony. If we had met 20 years ago, I would have told them to take a hike, but this was too little too late, so I wave at them, repeatedly, till they actually see me, and make their way through the crowd. They kiss their hellos, so you two met up, asks Lillian, yeah, I say, you’ve met Kattie before, she asks, I think and then nod slowly, poor guy, he doesn’t remember, do you sweetie, Kattie says, I nod, this time with a fake smile. She says, I was at your office the other day, I do your promotional work, ooooh, yeah, I’m so sorry, so how has business been for you, I try and change the topic instantly rather than be apologetic for not being able to recall her. Well, she says, and then she starts rating on about how she is the best sales person on the planet, and how she has single handedly converted multi-million dollar account
We get some drinks, the first ones are free, there is food, lasagna, fries, and some other stuff, and we stuff our plates, occupy a standing high table and get chirping. We get talking, and she tells me that her daughter passed away a few years ago, I’m so sorry, stopping the tears that are nearing her retina, she says, its Karma. It is, I am perplexed, well you see, in a previous life, I used to be a queen, and I ordered the mass murder of a lot of innocent people and it has actually come back to haunt me! I take my drink, and shoot it down, I see, which country were you the queen of, Ireland, she replies with complete faith in her belief. Karma huh, imagine that, I haven’t spoken a word further when she interrupts me, honey, I see things, there is the story of a man that she sees in the park every day where she goes jogging, and one day she looks at him, waves, and walks over, stoops to pick up something from the ground, raises her hand, extends it towards the man, turns her palm, and there is a white feather in her hand, she exhales and her breath makes the feather fly towards the man, and then she jogs away…the next day her old aunt died! Now that was a sign she says…
But here is the most interesting story of the night, and this is not a tale that was told, its real, till that point I was actually amused, acted serious, showed a lot of interest, put in my own two bits whenever she would stop talking, when all of a sudden the event host came by, have you seen my keys, she asks us, duh, no, I said, can you be any dumber I thought. And she went away, we got talking again, she came back looking for her keys again, looking even more worried, obviously had had a little bit too much to drink too. Katie looked at her, what wrong sweetie, I can’t find my keys, she said, and Katie starts reciting some weird shit, and she went on for about 20 seconds, felt like an eternity watching her recite the weird shit, and then, just when she was about done, someone cried, there they are, are these your keys, and lord behold, they were hers.
With that Kattie begged leave, kissed me, took an actual bow, and left. The girls couldn’t stop giggling, what’s the matter I asked them, you know, when you went to the bathroom, she said she knows you are royalty, she can tell, and she took a bow believing that you are royalty, and well, I’ll take that, I’ll take it any day, that’s Karma for you!