Gays and Lesbians · Muhammad · Sociology

Got Milk…

The Islamic countries generally, and Saudi Arabia specifically, live with a grave social plague on how to restrict and justify male and female interaction. So while they have been restricting, and justifying the restriction for decades, the result is a phenomenal increase in homosexuality. Something that they have been putting their genius hard at work to figure out. So here is the deal, we will not let, guys and girls meet, so guys hang out with guys, and girls hang out with girls, for Mohammed said so. Now guys are doing it with guys, and girls are doing it with girls. Since Mohammed had an answer for everything, they turn back to him, for an answer, and an answer they surely find, it’s a Miracle, the guy’s been gone for 1,500 years, and he still knows how to solve today’s problems, if that will not make you revert to Islam nothing will.

So, pray tell, what is the answer? Well, the problem is that guys are hanging out with guys only, and vice versa, the solution is to let them inter-mix again. However, how do you justify the cross-gender inter-racial mixing? Well, as per Islam, you let the guy drink the milk of the gal, and she becomes…wait for it….his mother, and unless you’re a Mother Fuckin’ red neck, she’s pretty much off limits…

Wahabi cleric, Sheikh Al Obeikan passed a fatwa and came on national TV to declare this. In his words, women who come in regular contact with guys, should give them their milk, only he can’t suck on it. They are currently asking Mohammed how to fix that problem, surely, an answer will be found, eventually…

The Sheikh also said the fatwa applied to all men who live in the same house, such as servants et al, except drivers. Hmmm… so the servant gets the milk, (male servants get the milk from the ladies of the house, and female servants give their milk to the men of the house) but the driver doesn’t, the logic behind that is that Mohammed didn’t know what a driver is, since back then they didn’t have drivers for camels, but they did have slaves, so he supposedly missed out on the drivers.

Abi Ishaq Al Huwaini, however, had another psycho conference with Mohammed, and he said that men could in fact suckle the breast milk directly! Imagine coming to work in the morning, getting some coffee, walking across to your colleague, and pumping in some milk to your convenience. I bet Sheikh Al Dumbo Al Kabeero will profess that all ladies in the work place wear the Got Milk tees to encourage their male counter parts, to not…have sex with them…while they suckle on their breasts…I am sure that is going to solve the homo sexuality problem!

Now so far, its all pretty believable, except for one minor glitch, and I am sure Mohammed has an answer for that as well, but, that Got Milk thing, it’s sort of a biological phenomenon that occurs in a bit of a cause and effect manner. The cause being triggered by sexual intercourse, insemination, conception, nine months of weight gain, thirty to three hundred minutes of delivery, and then, one year or so, of…milk. Thus, it would obviously mean, that all women get pregnant, deliver, and then start pouring out milk.

Now there are further benefits to this approach as well, consider how we in the west would gain from this. I think Sheikh Al Stupio and Al Giant al Morono are onto something here, this could actually solve some of Americas biggest health issues, if you catch my drift. They obviously have been doing this on Krypton for a while, that’s probably how you can get wings, forget red bull, suckle, suckle and suckle away…

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18 thoughts on “Got Milk…

  1. I guess you are a homo yourself dude…. Thats why you are so concerned… The simple answer to this is that you are allowed to be married if you feel the urge and are capable off. This way you can hang out with your wife. Trust me, you wont become homo hanging out with guys, unless you are diseased.

    cheers mate

    1. duh…the only thing diseased here is how a belief can make some one so intolerant. The sexuality of a person is not a disease, the inability of a person to accept others is one however…
      I don’t believe in marriage, you can think otherwise, I don’t have an issue with that, but a society or a belief that forces people to live in a certain way (read sick) regardless of their believes, I have issues.
      On the matter of sexual segragration…eating drinking and sex are basic human needs, if you segregate sexes until their mid 20s they are either going to jack off vehemently, (you would know about that) or find it else where. That doesnt make them homo, it makes them frustrated muslims! the kind you find in Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Libya and Pakistan, the ladies take a course no different.
      I would love to trust your judgement, but can you back it with some statistical evidence?

  2. Why on God’s good earth you are bent upon proving that your opinion is superior to that of 1.5 Billion Muslims. I don’t see any point in taking a stupid Shaikh’s fatwa to malign a religion. I don’t agree to what this Shaikh said. At the same time I also disagree with what you are trying to prove using this so called Fatwa.

  3. Khaald, don’t be mad at me for my opinions, I am entitled to them aren’t I? Can’t we coexist despite having contrasting beliefs?

    1. that is precisely the problem that we have to coexist…;) but so does this stupid shaikh who issued this absurd Fatwa. let him live peacefully and keep on amusing people with such Fatwas. I am sure no sane person listens to such Fatwas. However, you are making full and, I would say, unfair use of this stupid shaikh’s stupid act to put Islam on trial.

      1. What’s the matter, Islam can’t stand upto my trial?
        Also is coexisting really a problem? hope you dont Bomb me for being so verbose!!

  4. In fact, I find no difference between this Shaikh and you, both are amusing….:) Your “logic” (in other posts too) makes as much sense as his “Fatwa”…:) may be there should be such people who could, for the rest of the sane people, serve as examples of what-not-to-be-like. So, I would like to say, keep amusing people both of you. (I hope this shaikh reads your blog too :D)

      1. Since when finding something amusing in someone’s logic or saying that I’d rather not be like the one who agrees to this logic has become equivalent to preaching violence or hate? In your last comment you sound more like those goons sitting in caves in Afghanistan feeling their religion is under threat when someone doesn’t grow a beard or when girls go to school. If you really believe in what you preach, then you should not cry foul when someone is critical of your opinion. And I don’t agree to your assertion that Islam breeds violence and hate. Quite contrary to your claims, Islam preaches love and peace for all humanity. I haven’t found anything in this great religion which would make me hate anyone based upon someone’s color, creed, beliefs etc. But the very country you are living in has had laws that discriminated against people of color. The laws might have been changed but the very mindset that created such laws is still there.

  5. I said in my last comment that Islam is a religion of peace and it expects its followers to spread a message of love and peace in the world. If you see some people spreading hate or preaching violence, then please don’t think that they are representing true Islam. They are misguided people who preach violence or hate and their actions have nothing to do with the religion that they claim to follow. Just like your actions can’t be attributed to the religion that you follow or the community that you belong to, in the same way actions of such people can’t be attributed to their religion.

    1. Khalid, my posts do not target Islam per se, my opinions are more geared towards the critique of formulative dogma. If you look back, all violence since history has been written has formulative dogma behind it in one form or another. I also question the need for one to follow a particular religion to know right from wrong, when in all honesty, we all know right from wrong, its in our hearts!

      1. Well, I don’t believe that each and every one of us can tell right from wrong. This is simply because different people have different standards for defining what is right and what is wrong. To some stealing something might very well be okay for reasons like “they needed it badly and didn’t have money to buy it”. And most of Abrahamic religions came not in the 21st century where people have better understanding of their rights and responsibilities and can tell right from wrong. The people in those days needed guidance which was duly provided by the prophets sent by Allah (subhanahu watala). It, however, doesn’t imply that now we are all perfect and we don’t need any guidance whatsoever. We do need some guidance which could only be gained from the greatest religions of all (Islam). May Allah bless you and all of us with a better understanding of the world around us and bless us with the wisdom to be on the right path, amen.

  6. – Polygamy still prevails in many parts of the world and it is not a crime to have more than one wife if you follow all the strings attached to it by the religion.
    – capital punishment is a debatable issue but there are reasons to have this punishment to deter people from committing capital crimes. One has to be a victim of one such crime or a blood relative of the victim to fully understand why capital punishment is there.
    – Slavery: I better not talk about that because the country that you live in is known for its dark past when they used to fill ships with black people from Africa and bring them to the new world discovered by Christopher Columbus to work as slaves. There are many other examples where “civilized” world was involved in such practices. Slavery was prevalent in Arabia at the dawn of Islam and I agree that Islam didn’t prohibit it outrightly. However, if you have a deeper look into the philosophy of Islam, you will understand that it took first steps towards abolition of slavery.
    – gender inequality: Here you are right. Islam gives more rights to women and binds men to respect them and take care of them while being in different social roles.
    – child molestation: please read about those tourists from the “civilized world” who go to “special” travel destinations in south east Asia for this purpose. There are loads of examples from old time Europe and other parts of the World too where Kings got married with minor girls who had not reached the age of puberty. I know what you are hinting at in this point but one has to understand the circumstances of this particular incident and in that particular case the marriage was consummated after the bride had reached the age of puberty.

    1. I appreciate the thought and time you are investing in your answers. Also I appreciate and respect your views. I donot agree with a lot of it, but I respect your opinion.
      Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

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