The Saudi Greeting

If you are walking through a bazaar or a mall in Saudi Arabia, odds are you will see a bunch of funny looking Saudi men walking around, holding each others hands. If they run into a gang of their friends, they will greet each other, by kissing them on the cheeks. It is considered a sign of passion and deep friendship. It is also extremely queer, gay, fagish, and that shit ain’t right.

But hey since it works for them, it must be right.

The Saudi Attire

Sometimes the men will put on jeans and T shirts which are really funny, but then they too are funny. Eating Fool and Tamees every day makes them fat, and sitting on ground at all times gives Saudi men funny booties that would make black people go ummm hmmm. But more often than not, they wear a white bag upside down called the thob. On their heads they put a red and white, or plain white cloth, and affix it in place using a round sealing apparatus called the shamag. Underneath the inverted white bag, most men will adorn a white pajama or white boxers. You really do not want to have a bunch of funny looking Saudis walking into a wind when they are wearing all of that. They are crazy funny as it is, but with the wind running into them, it gets a bit too much to handle. Oh, by the way, they do not like being laughed at!

The Saudi Dinner Party

Saudi dinner parties are interesting, just like every thing else. So you are supposed to sit on the ground, and if you are wearing jeans or trousers, it is not the most comfortable position to be in. Most men will sit and socialize. Praise the lord, shoot the shit, plan their next weddings. Men will walk around serving dates and Arabica coffee. After like forever, they will put plastic wrapping paper on the floor, about three feet wide, and twenty or so feet long depending on the length of the room. Also depending on the kind of party you could either be served goat, lamb, or if it is a cheap host, chicken or camel will be served. Regardless of what it is, the animal will sit in whole a big pot of rice. As you can see in the picture, the little kid is, me. The only drink that is served are soft drinks. No Cabernet Sauvignon to go with the lamb. Also note the notable absence of silverware. Every body eats with there hands, which is a little messy. But the funny Saudis have mastered the art. I will try and explain how it goes. So using the right hand, the left is used to wipe their asses, they break off chunks of the meat from the lamb, and put it in front of themselves in the same tray, or if they have their own plate, they may put it on their own plate. Next, they grab onto some rice, and squish it while making a punch out of their hands repeatedly. They then quickly grab onto some of the chunks of meat, and mix it with the rice continuing to make punching movements with their hands. Now comes the tricky part! By repeatedly punching the aggregate, they have pretty much given it the form of a ball. They lift their punching hand half way between the ground and their mouth. Open the palm, and jerk the ball to fly out of their hand. Simultaneously, the mouth opens, and gulps the flying ball. The eyes at this time are busy scouting the lamb for the next chunk tear off spot. With the left hand a sip of Pepsi, or Babe-see as they like to call it, and a burp and fart follow from the orifices. Finally, they would tend to thank the lord, subhanallah alhumdolilla and repeat the amazing hand eye mouth coordination again.

Monday is Humpday


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